The Obvious Opener

Walmart.  Right to the point.  Why tread about when we all know what all little towns are talking about.  Walmart.

We are slated to get a Walmart in our little town as of . . . um . . well - your guess is as good as mine.  Even the Walmart website isn't sure, since the town filed suit against them as of June 22.  -sideline- How can a whole town sue a whole business for wanting to do - um - business?  Be that as it may.  We are slated to get a Walmart.

The facts of Walmart's pros and cons will wait till a later blog, but let's look at the  rumors.  Walmart has cheaper prices.  Yes, instead of paying $3.29 for your container of International Coffee Sugar-free Vanilla Vienna Mocha, you will be paying . . $3.27 ($3.23 when Roll-back Pricing is being put in place by Mr. Smiley Face Man.)  Who doesn't want to save a whopping total of $7.16 a year based on the needs of a family of 5?

Walmart has loads of free parking.  Huge parking lots contributing huge blocks of radiant heat to the air near the hottest business hub in The Hatch.  Huge piles of dirty snow drooling snow-melt well into March.  But it's all free!

Walmart will have the biggest selection of stuff in town.  One stop shopping for all your stuff needs.  No longer will one need to drive at least 2 miles total around town to gather up a pile of goodies to take home to Dad and the kids.  You will have it all in one place.

Walmart has friendly greeters.  I have to give 'em this one.  On each of the 5 occasions I have entered a Walmart, I have been greeted friendlily.  The greeters seem to enjoy their work and they clearly enjoy people.  That is a hit or miss proposition at other businesses in town, so that is a plus for Walmart.

The biggie?  Walmart creates JOBS!  The not inconsiderable contingent of Tea Baggers here loves this one.  -sideline - When did the conservative right start caring about the steady income of the common folk?  Didn't they used to think the masses were asses and deserved whatever they got?  Jus' sayin'. - Yes, everyone in The Hatch will have a good job, good benefits, steady income and yellow Mr. Smiley Face Man grins plastered to their faces.  What a nice picture.

Enough of rumors and hearsay.  The truth?  You won't see me in the Tehachapi Walmart.  Ever.  Why?  Don't I want to be greeted by Mr. Smiley Face Man after getting my cardio trudging through the dirty snow across acres and acres of fresh macadam to save my allotted $1.42?  NO!  Why?  Walmart is a pit.  It's a dump.  Walmarts are categorically the worst designed, grubbiest, ickiest shopping venues on the planet.

I have been to 5 separate Walmarts on 5 separate occasions.  Each time here is what I found:  10% - 20% of the merchandise on the floors, kids climbing on the shelves, substandard merchandise poorly arranged on shelves that go halfway to the 30 foot ceilings.  As for Mr. Smiley Face Man?  He stays as close to the door as he can.  He knows he may have to make a run for it.  If the crowd goes ugly fighting over the last box of Tuna Helper on the shelf ($.99 each - limit 24,) he wants to book as quickly as possible.  The rest of the employees are far from Smiley.

I found one of MSFM's compatriots.

 "Pardon me - could you tell me where the toaster ovens are?"

"Aisle 10, Lady."

"And where is Aisle 10?"

"Sheesh - between Aisles 9 and 11."  Then he walked off.  Really.  This was not a happy camper, nor did the other employees look all that happy.  I think that could be from some of the facts about Walmart we will uncover later.  Hey, Tea Baggers - Walmart creates crappy jobs and unhappy employees.

Facts as I see them?  Walmart will come into Tehachapi.  In a free market economy, this is virtually inevitable.  Walmart will be a huge hit and most of the folks now wearing the slashy symbol "No" thingy over the word Walmart will skulk in there to save their $.12 on Cat Chow.  The smaller businesses - including the "adequate for the needs of our little town" K Mart will fold.  Walmart will realize that the posted population of 10,957 is in truth more like 6,438 (the city limits encompass the boonies and scoop up a lot of folks who really aren't part of the viable population) and will pull up stakes and leave.  Leave the parking lot radiating heat, leave the monstrous store to rot and make the place look even shabbier, leave the closed businesses, leave the not-so-happy workers even less happy.

I am all about solidarnosc, and siding with the down-trodden.  I am all about social justice and taking care of those who can't or won't speak up for themselves.  I am all about the free market and making a dollar. But you won't see me in Walmart.  Ever.


Bottom line?  Walmart is a maze-like pit of a dump that mesmerizes its customers into thinking they are getting something they aren't.  It's a lot like being a $2 hooker - - yeah, you get something for doing something, but is what you get worth what you gotta do to get it?


Keep on treading water, folks.